time...

The problem with time, I've learned...eventually time always runs out.

I have no idea where you are out there in the world. But I understand that I lost the right to know these things long ago. No matter how many years go by, I know one thing to be as true as ever was - I'll see you soon then.

- Dear John -

mmm

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life."

"I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and Braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

-Elizabeth Gilbert-

the naked emperor part 2

sometime ago...well, a few years ago to be exact, i wrote about the boy who dared to tell the emperor that he was naked. at that point in time, i was that boy.

it didn't feel good when you face the wrath of not just the oblivion emperor...but also the wrath of those who have lived their lives weaving stories and making a living out of lying to the emperor.

today, i'm in the same position - albeit older, just a little wiser...but still not wise enough to face off the mass who lied to the emperor.

with age, with authority, one would think that the weight of the truth could be more palatable. on the contrary, with age, with authority, the general expectation is for you to join the game and lie along to the emperor.

i'm tired. this is an endless game. just bring me HOME.

changes

recently, there has been a lot of changes at work. M is leaving this Friday, news is that Superman is leaving for good, whilst Austin is also transiting out. I can't imagine the shakeup these changes will cause. Obviously, M's impact will be less than the other 2.

interestingly, this has been one of the "most-persistant" jobs in my entire career. maybe it's my karma, maybe it's the fact that the hard work literally translated into rewards. regardless of the reason, the fact is - i'm still here.

the sand castle remains, the round trips continue, and the politicking never abatted. all i can say is - i'm still here.

SIGH

The i word

lately...integrity has come up as a hot topic.

once upon a time, i lost my integrity. at that time, i pulled through with the grace of God and my loved ones. i resolved to start anew and with humility.

i stuck good to the resolution...and stayed factual. it was not easy, it still is not easy. it's never easy playing clean politics.

just recently...i find it tough to hang in there. with fear and stress, i crumbled and broke down. it's really not easy. i could only calm down when the base of my head was stroked like a baby.

i don't want to be pushed into a corner...and lose it again. some call it survival of the fittest. i call it brutality.

please...if You hear my plea. i need to persist at being a better person.

my new resolution this year is to be a person with integrity.

truth...

Lyin' next to you
Wishing I could disappear...
Let you fall asleep
And vanish out into thin air..

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads.
And we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect
Tryin' not to let you down...
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...
while the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

I still keep your photographs
I remember how we used to laugh
I can keep on losin' sleep
If you're okay with being torn in half.

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's an avalanche that looms above our heads
But we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning
And let the rain come in.
Stop pretending that it's not ending
And let the end begin.

Oh yeah...

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

It's easier than telling the truth...

uber normalism

in the past 6 months..i have seen weird.

not only in ah boy's life...but also in work life. suddenly, it dawned upon me that being normal, is a gift.

some may think that being normal is boring. ah boy used to think so too. now ah boy just wants to play regular pool again. well, sometimes ah boy dreams of flying as well. kimono needs to spur ah boy on.

my desire for shopping fell to almost zilch in the past few months. *for some arcane reason, kimono still thinks I shop a lot* it's so unlike me. my stress level, however, has gone up the charts. i struggle to stay sane at times.

really, it's not easy at times. juggling work, life, love, family, work, oh and eat. haha. stoning gets me away at times. my heart tires. my mind wears. i need a rest

i...want...to...fly. i...want...my...dragon...cuestick. i...want...to....see...RE4 :p

thank you...once again

the long awaited day has finally arrived. You really never disappoint. You just keep surprising me :)

more than...

in a week's time, we will be more than half a decade old. we'll be 6 years old...

our journey has been fruitful, although i must say i haven't been the best gaboo, and have given you a lot of ups and downs. i know it's not easy for you...and there are times i feel frustrated too.

thank you...for all the good times, the patience, the listening ear, the shoulder to cry on, the warmth when all is cold. sorry...for times when i'm a brat, for times when i made you wait, for times when the skies are dark.

i hope we have more to come. i know some things are just at its beginning, and we have stuff to look forward to. i will try to hold on to your hand...as long as you hold on for the ride.

- love, gaboo

tinkles gone wild...

my PA is good in reminding me about buying luggage...but! she forgot about withdrawing $$....cham...empress dowager is so going to kill me :-s

i think my PA is upset she had to wait so long for me :( but your haircut is cute :D i like!

JIREH

The thanks to be given at the very first instance is to You. Thank You for answering my prayers :)

D Day...

after slogging for close to half a year...we are finally there. It's D day on monday.

when I left the office on friday, i brought along my laptop out of habit...

when i reached home and looked at the laptop, i realised for the longest time...i don't have to work over the weekend already *at least for now*

i left the laptop at the entrance...and blanked out on the sofa...eating my dinner.

to have come so far...it's not just through wit, but through really hard work and energizer-never-say-die spirit. The amount of screaming thrown around, the amount of frustration when opinions conflict, the amount of people management, the shitload of politics...it's a once in a lifetime experience.

i thank God for the strength...my family for the patience, K for the times you have waited *although sometimes with a face almost as black as ah-black :p* and the listening ears...can you resume pa duties if you wait less now? ;;)

i need a pa...

my unofficial pa has abandoned me :'( sob.

i forgot my claims, my account number...everything! argh, without her i'm at a loss...

angels cry...

phew...this is a damn powderful heartache song man
___________________________________________________

I shouldn't have walked away
I would've stayed if you said
We could've made everything OK
But we just
Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I'm still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor
Super natural love conquers all
'Member we used to touch the sky
And

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

C'mon babe can't our love be revived
Bring it back and we gon' make it right
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive
As the angels cry

I thought we'd be forever and always
You were serenity
You took away the bad days
Didn't always treat you right
But it was OK
I do somethin' stupid
And you still stay with me

But you can only go for so long
Doing the one you claim to love wrong
Before too much is enough
You look up
Find your love gone
And

We were so good together
How come we could not weather
This storm and just do better
Why did we say goodbye

'Cause lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift
In a storm
Now every night
I feel the angels cry

C'mon babe can't our love be revived
Bring it back and we gon' make it right
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive
As the angels cry

Baby I'm missin' you
Don't allow love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Baby I'm missin' you
Don't allow love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
But we let it slip
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Oh babe, the angels cry

the beginning...of my goal

i got one of my long-time wishes fulfilled today. i'm officially a H*** before turning 30.

to be honest, i didn't expect this. when i came to planet z, i was merely looking for a harbour. who knew there would be such unexpected pleasant surprises.

i'm thankful, for this. to Father, for fulfilling my goal - you have really given me more than expected. thank You.

to family...to K for being patient, for being my pillar of strength, for being everything that you are.

resident evil

resident evil 4 is releasing in town on my bday!!!! :D yipee!!!

milla jovovich, ali larter, you rock!

calling houston...

*crackles*

houston...this is shuttle v calling. planet z's core is built on weak soil and has volatile temperature. At times, I had to walk round and round the planet just to attain my goal. The harbour we envisage from earth turned out to be a sandcastle which fell apart upon docking.

i did however achieve what i wanted here. in fact, things will be changing next week...pending big news. but what if it all turns out to be another sandcastle?

should i stay and fulfill my humility promise? over.

the standstill of time

I woke up this morning and found that my watch has stopped. 9.00am.

I asked my watch...are you too cold? I got a few um chios...

I resolved to find the same brand watchmaker to change its battery...and I eventually did...near the foot of a cathedral.

My watch is running again now...:D

standing at the intersection of winter turning to spring

I'm frozen at 13 degrees celcius without sufficient warm clothing. Uh oh...

It's wet and cold and kinda old school here...

Using my berry as my connection into the world of warmth without access to other websites...

turn right...moving on

~an inspired paragraph~

i asked my heart how she was doing and she refused to answer me
peeping in...i saw that she was broken into pieces
she said:
how could you...bear to do this to me again?
fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me
silently, i picked up the thread and attempted to mend her
with her looking like tatty teddy when i finished
i gave her a hug and said:
it doesn't matter how many times you break
what's important is you provided tlc to someone very important to me
and because of that, i treasure you
i can't see what's ahead
and i can't promise i won't break you again
but what i can promise to you,
is that you will live on
because another important someone, someday
will need you to be mended more than i can't bear to break you again...