愛情歲月

要是我没有记忆怎会怀缅
要是我没有从前
难道我便会共你
通过任何试炼
伴你走到终点

我恨我没有掩饰心里视线
我恨我尚有弱点
望见她走过我面前
苦里带着甜
难道爱情未搁浅

但岁月最清楚
她不算什么
曾凭着勇气爱上天真的我
留下不多不少一些经过
将片段重播
一生不够多

愿你亦看清楚
她不算什么
曾成就当初开开心心的我
如若我狠心得转身闪过
不要在乎我
不必恋上我
可以扮忘记
都可将你掠过

在你眼裡

沒有風　雲以為自己可以慢慢移動
沒有你　我以為世界照常轉動
直到光　照不進我那半隱居的窗口
直到愛　叫醒我隱藏起來的脆弱

其實我愛著你　只是我騙自己
我要的世界　原來在你眼裏
其實我抗拒你　卻找到更多的證明
那乾了的淚　原來在你眼裏

轉了彎　河以為就能找到那面大海
走的遠　我以為只有這雙腳會酸
直到雨　告訴我一個人撐傘的孤單
直到愛　推倒了在我面前的勇敢

其實我愛著你　只是我騙自己
我要的世界　倒映在你眼裏
其實我抗拒你　卻找到更多的證明
那乾了的淚　原來在你眼裏

愛著你　我懂得不再騙自己
那明天的我　正在等你　相遇

I need some cheering up

I'm feeling down. Maybe it's quarter-life crisis. Maybe I really should move on. Should I give it a chance?

Definitely, Maybe

The best way to retort is to touch someone's heart :D

A: “No, you are asking me to join a group institution that fails as often as it succeeds, for no other reason besides to fulfill some bourgeois notion to fulfill this society’s capitalistic agenda.”

W: "Ok ok, shut up. You’re the first person I want to see when I wake up, and the last person I want to kiss before I go to bed every night. And when I saw these hands I knew that I wanted to hold them for the rest of my life. And because if you love someone as much as I love you, that is the only thing you can do."

Very belated 3-0 celebration

I celebrated the big 3-0 birthday for M today. It was really belated - largely due to her exams and work back in Jan.

Something she said jolted me today.

"I realised we do not have pictures together. You know...what we have eventually to remember moments together are pictures."

I was quite surprised. I'm sure we took pictures together. I was sure we did :p haha...ok, maybe we didn't. So I said:

"I don't need pictures to remember someone by. Maybe places. But not for people, esp. those who are still by my side."

She then went on to say that with my "black-holing" memory, she doubt I can remember how she looked. And so I went on to cite the many hairstyles she had over the years. But she was not satisfied. She lamented on the fact I do not remember her face - which seriously did not change much :*

Anyway, I willingly obliged and allowed her to snap plenty at the Korean pl, at Altivo...

I guess as we reach a certain phase, we tend to pay closer attention to what we have around us. Turn back time to when we first met, I bet taking pictures to remember "us" will be the last thing on our minds.

Ok, stop being morbid. Time to hit the sack.

手放开

我把自己关起来只留下一个阳台
每当天黑推开窗我对着夜幕发呆
看着往事一幕一幕
再次演出你我的爱

我把电视机打开听着别人的对白
也许那些故事可以给我一个交代
你要的爱我学不来
眼睁睁看情变坏人怔怔看情感概

不能给你未来我还你现在
安静结束也是另一种对待
当眼泪流下来伤已超载
分开也是另一种明白

我给你最后的疼爱是手放开
不要一张双人床中间隔着一片海
感情的污点就留给时间慢慢漂白
把爱收进胸前左边口袋

最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪
感情就像候车月台有人走有人来
我的心是一个站牌写着等待

我把收音机打开听着别人的失败
啃咽的声音仿佛诉说着相同悲哀
你的依赖还在胸怀
我无法轻易推开我无法随便走开
感情中专心的人容易被伤害

The game of love

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

Oscar Wilde

i miss you...

many a times, it's only when someone is not by your side.....then you realise how much you miss her...

The mendable heart

God doesn't hate us. If he did, he wouldn't have made our hearts so brave.

thick skull

Ok, I'm officially pissed at work now. That's because there are really thick skull people around. Esp. those at the subsidiary. Don't you understand English? Why don't you google the difference between hashing and encryption? Haven't what I said sank in? Why is your project plan so different from what I require of you?

That's it. You are going to receive a very "straight-forward" email from me first thing in the morning. You shall receive no more customer-oriented treatment from me. I'm so pissed I doubt I can go to sleep. Funny thing is, I feel like laughing at your stupidity as well :s

Big SIGH at you nincompoots.

*breathing in...breathing out...breathing in...

*fading out

love

with every relationship comes problems...and deep within the problems lie the solution ;)

lost

it's never easy
when the words don't come out right
it's hardly true
when we act like it's alright

faced with you
i'm at a loss
faced with us
it's like we've never been there

losing you
will be my greatest regret
losing hope
i rather not wish

my battered heart needs
to feel the rain
to see the rainbow
to learn how to leave the rest to fate

my resolution

effective = do the right things
efficient = do things the right way

in all aspects, i resolve to do right things the right way in 2008

silver bells

As the year proceeds towards festivity, I'm once again amazed at how fast time flies. Just yesterday, I was walking along Orchard, wondering what to buy for Xmas pressies. And today, it's time for me to do that again...

For the past few months, I have been very very busy with work - in a good way. Once my momentum is worked up, I find my passion coming back again :D Maybe I'm fated to be a slogaholic :p After all, this is the best time of my life to slog...since I really doubt if this energy and passion will last me till I'm 40.

I don't really have anything material on my Xmas wishlist this year. Maybe coz...I'm pretty happy with what I have in my life, and I dun demand much materially :p *But that certainly doesn't mean I won't want...>:)

So...this Xmas...I wish for more moola (!), more happiness and more health for myself, family and loved ones :D

Kissing you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt-NwAA3Wvo

Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you
My soul cries

Heaving heart is full of pain
Oooh, oooh, the aching
'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh I'm kissing you, oooh

Touch me deep, pure and true
Give to me forever
'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh I'm kissing you, oooh

Where are you now
Where are you now
'Cause I'm kissing you I'm kissing you, oooh

lost and found

The deepest memories I had of you were those which you agreed to cover up for me when I played traunt...and stayed behind with me when I was detained to tell me about your teenage years.

You who gave me your house number and asked me to call, you who didn't mind when I skipped your music classes, you...who was always so jovial.

Sadly, I did not remember you leaving the school. I don't remember why I stopped saying hi. I don't remember what happened to us. I don't even remember when was the last time I saw you. I think...we just drifted, as with most teacher-student bonding.

I thought I saw you again at the concert. That laughter, so familiar. I didn't dare to say hi..hehe. I took a gamble and emailed a Lisa I found online...attached with a husband's surname. And...to my surprise, you replied! The same old you. In fact, without asking more questions, you gave me your mobile :p

Friends are hard to come by as we grow older. Lost friends...are even harder to be found. I'm glad I found you, Miss L :D

heartbreak view

i'm aching again
i don't know why
you are always that extra mile
that special touch
that unique one

i know to keep you at length
it hurts when you can't see
can't feel
with your heart somewhere else
it's aching again

i thought of those magic moments
butterflies fluttering within
was it just me?
i thought i saw your soul
no...it's just me

you are hurting
i know it since we met
your smile i saw
wasn't meant for me, no
your love i saw

never meant to be, no

飛越在夢中

Can anyone remember the first segment of the Mystery series? I can.

And it's not solely coz of Madeline Chu :p it's also coz of the butterflies :(

I know it sounds corny, but I sorta subconciously developed butterflobia from the show...and so did a lot of my friends and fellow Gen-X-ers...

If Mediacorp (then SBC) were to pride themselves on a sucessful campaign, I bet nothing will beat their "develop-butterflobia-in-track-record-time!" initiative :p

Dazequeen just exclaimed over dinner that she's still afraid of butterflies. SL, slightly more immune, cringes only at butterflies so big that she can make out their segments and eyes :-s *grotesque!

Anyway, over the years, I have become more tolerant of them. But I don't think there will ever be a day where I can stand and admire their beauty as specimens..though I should be able to walk amongst flowers as they dance in a pair. Any numeral larger than a pair will probably send me gingerly walking away - unless of course Madeline Chu is in the area :D

PS: I can't find lyrics to 飛越在夢中...is it already obsolete? Maybe I should email MediaCorp :p

Getaway

Came across a link on short trips in US...

http://www.theshadydell.com/index.html

Looks cool...but def not on a summer day :p autumn would be just nice ;)

My 5

I have always envisioned Heaven to be a place without pain, without suffering, without hurt.....without earthly love. I have been told that we would all have a mansion of our own in Heaven. I have always envisioned that I would be lonely if I ever got to Heaven.

What if the love is so strong that it follows me to Heaven? What if I never learnt how to let go?

What if I were to meet my loved ones, only to have them leave me again?

"When he moved his head back, she was old once again, the web of lines beside her eyes, the looser skin beneath her chin. She smiled and he smiled, and she was, to him, as beautiful as ever, and he closed his eyes and said for the first time what he'd been feeling from the moment he saw her again: "I don't want to go on. I want to stay here." When he opened his eyes, his arms still held her shape, but she was gone, and so was everything else."

Love is not about how thin you should be, love is not about how pretty you look next to me, love is not about how well you fit into my arms.

Love is about how you continue to look good in my eyes, love is about how close we are even when we remain silent, love is about how I know you like your eggs done....love is about how comfortable we are just spending time together.

"With her, he wanted only time - more and more time - and he was granted it, nighttimes and daytimes and nighttimes again."

Time does not work against love, it works with love. As time goes by, love simply takes on a different form. Even when I can no longer see your smile, or bring you food, or tousle your hair. When senses weaken, memory becomes my partner.

"Life has to end, Love doesn't"