Halfway through

Halfway through my probationary period, I was given a great opportunity to lead during the testing phase. Given my ferrari-powered attitude towards work, I slogged day and night for the good of my project, ensuring evey caveat is addressed, every minute detail is taken care of. Alas, good things never really do last, at least for now. The testing phase is over, and the system is to be commissioned on V-day. A similar position to mine will no longer belong to me - it will go to a lesser and lower-rank being, who has no capability to speak of - a loud-mouth scholar.

I do not believe my boss did not speak up for me. He probably did, but big boss has her reservations, and my boss will not risk his arse to push any further. Is it my youth, my ambitiousness, my striking sharpness, my probationary status, or simply coz she needs to hit the promotion quota for the precious scholars? I do not know.

Do they really have better plans for me in place? I hope so. Is it really as innocent a reason as that I'm still within my probationary period? I doubt so. It is an elitist place I'm in, a batttleground where politics stretches from the working level all the way to the management level. Every moment of the day, I worry about what I speak of, and who I speak to.

I'm tired. I really wonder if I should give this another chance. Looking back, I really did get the package I want when I left Ground 0, so why am I complaining now?

I think it's coz I realised that money can't buy you everything. It can't buy you fairness, nor love, nor time, nor family, and most importantly nor a peace of mind.

-If this is Your blueprint for me, please make me a way soon-